simple pleasures and happiness

my apologies for the lack of posts recently. not been feeling that great recently, and the horrid itch didn't help!  yah. sad to say it's still around.  been taking meds at night, and it seems to help - so that's a good thing!:)

so....yesterday morning, I woke before my alarm went off and wayyyy earlier than my usual waking hours.  amazing huh! given I'm quite the pig and have consistently proven that I can easily sleep through my phone alarm even as it rings a zillion times.  once I had to be somewhere at a certain time and asked the hb to call and be my 'stand-by' alarm clock.  and boy! was i lucky i did! he had to call FIVE whole times before the sound hit me in dreamland!  I am pretty sure he was a tad annoyed, though he tried hard not to show it - right hb who reads my blog?;)

[caption id="attachment_1694" align="aligncenter" width="438"] the only other time I recall waking with such enthusiasm was when I took riding lessons eons ago! had to wake about 5 plus, but boy - was I just eager to jump off the bed! sadly i sucked so bad that I didn't continue. also it was expensive.[/caption]

I was looking forward to the day - as I had volunteered at a local dog shelter.  They were asking for mid-week volunteers to bring the dogs out for walks.  most volunteers are free only weekends, and the dogs go a whole week w/o walking. and a mid-week walk is something the dogs would love.  Since I had the time, I figured, why not?

So i started the day with my morning coffee (else I'll just be a grouchy monster) - with the sound of the water fountain in the background, and my two darlings loitering near me.  it's moments like this that I feel incredibly blessed and happy.

after my caffeine boost, i made my way to the shelter.  Located in a 'ulu' place - the 10 mins solitary walk was real peaceful - hardly a car and lots of wide open spaces (sadly, a premium here in Singapore!)!     finally reached the place, and there was a nursery - the plant kind!  take a look!

[caption id="attachment_1691" align="aligncenter" width="547"] love how healthy and vibrant the plants are!  maybe the next time I'll get one for the home!:)[/caption]

the volunteers (new and old) waited at the carpark till the 'chief' volunteer came to bring us in.   When we arrived at the enclosure, I was a tad concerned and wary when I saw the sizes of the strays! My twinkle is a small/medium-sized dogs - so I'm comfortable with smaller dogs. but boy! the strays were really a LOT bigger than what I used to!

a little drama actually - a dog fight broke out (which is apparently normal in a free roaming environment) and a volunteer got bitten when she was trying to clean the wound of a dog that snaps when in pain.  The dogs are actually pretty human friendly, but I guess there needs to be some level of caution especially when we don't have an established connection.   I stayed out-of-the-way, and just let the experienced volunteers do what needed to be done.

Once the drama was contained and enclosure cleaned of the loads of shit (apparently the dogs were having diarrhea!  and it stank just as bad as my cat's poo!) - we brought the dogs to a big field for them to roam, and boy were they happy!

[caption id="attachment_1697" align="aligncenter" width="547"] left photo: Faith - the dog I walked right photo. very powerful pull!  I had to dig in my heals at times!  she's one of the more docile one.:)  right photo: Chili, looking like a super young version of my twinkle tan. but she was very withdrawn.  doesn't bite nor show aggression, just super wary and aways backs away.[/caption]

After their little excursion, we brought them back to their enclosure, and here's a video of the dogs in their home!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sY1PjvvsM08&feature=youtu.be

It was a simple activity, and it made me happy to enabled their mid-week walk! although it's sad that they are enclosed, they are loved and protected. at least by the founder of this shelter.    it's times like this when I am reminded of how lucky my family dog - twinkle tan is!:)    I think he knows that too - he stopped attempting to run away (he tried once when we first adopted him).   you can leave the door open, and he will just lie there on the floor or sofa!:)

toxics in our daily products and an easy way to change

over the past few months - i slowly but surely embarked on a quest to become healthier - in terms of the things I use in my house.

many reasons - big and minuscule led me to this journey.  started when a friend had health scare which made me more particular about certain ingredients in my deodorant. partly I was trying to reduce consumption, simplify my life, have more time to read and also of my easily irritated skin.

it can be kindda scary when you first start noticing the ingredients in your daily products - from your shampoo, body soap, hand wash, etc and see the list of scary ingredients.  aluminum, parabens, tricolsan, etc.

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pfq000AF1i8&w=560&h=315]

So I started to see if I could replace the commercial products without burning a hole in the pocket.   and the happiest thing i found out??  switching to a healthier option - does not need to be expensive!  (you know when you step into organic shops that tout to sell healthier products?  ironically i get an unhealthy heart palpitation when 1 see the prices!)

In fact, if you shop at the right places, it can actually be even cheaper than the commercial stuff at supermarkets!   I've changed my hand soap, and am in the process of doing it for my parents too -  shared the info with my sis and cousin too and when they realised that it's a healthier option which is also more economical and smells darn good as well - it was easy for them to start trying.  some stuff I DIY - like my husband's hair gel which in fact made his scalp smelll wayyyyy better and in fact he said his hair is softer!  There are more I wanna try - just haven't start on it yet!



So I started a page to list the places where I shop - as my own personal reference list and also to share this info with you.  At the moment - both stores are online shops so they are able to provide better prices generally.  Will be building the list as I go exploring around!  Go check  it out if you are keen to start greening de-chemicalizing (yes, my own word) your home and whether it can help you save that bit too.

for your info, I am not a hardcore wellness person (at least at this moment) - I seldom buy organic stuff (maybe only 10%?), have stuff I'm unwilling to give up  my morning coffee!) and probably have a couple of products that I intentionally don't screen cos' i don't want to know...yet!  (like my Estee Lauder Advanced Night Recovery Serum cos' it helps heal my skin when I have those annoying pimples!), household products I love (bleach! to kill those nasty flies that reside in the drainage holes and for my toilet bowl), etc.

so I am by no means an expert.  My intention is very simple - reduce the nasties in my life and for my family so that we can stay healthier.   I would encourage you to try it - it takes just a little initial effort and the benefits of a healthier body / environment?  priceless.

thankful for everything.

sorry for the lack of posts recently!

was busy settling the kitchen and was pre occuppied with selling the equipment, settling rental stuff, logistics of moving stuff back home, etc.  plus being the anal me - once things were back home - i HAD to repack them nicely and neatly.  I get really affected by my surroundings - that could explain why I'm a little OCD at times.  Although, on convenience, my OCD can be switched off! heh. like my messy desk. and especially paperwork!  I will be tackling them soon though! at least i started!

[caption id="attachment_295" align="alignnone" width="470"] breathing![/caption]

Well now that I have everything settled - I honestly have to admit - I feel a lot happier! perhaps from the immense sense of relief from trying to get enough sales each month to cover operational costs!  I love baking - though it's a tad different baking for yourself vs baking for for sale.  I am a advocate of using the best ingredients we can.  On the other hand,  for business, you need profits to survive and continue providing a service.   Plus, I'm not so great at business.

I'm decently good at baking simple straight forward desserts though!:)  Our brownies got covered on Her World magazine '90 best desserts in Singapore'! woo hoo!  it's wonderful to have an external party recognize and appreciate the your love and passion you put in your work!  not every one loves my brownies cos' they are really fudgy and chocolaty, but hey - that's exactly the reason why many others love them! haha.

[caption id="attachment_292" align="alignnone" width="470"] we got mentioned 2 out of 3 - our dark chocolate cranberry and swirled cheese brownie! not bad aei. heh. top right of page under brownies![/caption]

now that I am taking a break until I decide what I'm going to do next - I am grateful for the extra time to spend some time to help my parents tidy and pack their house.   Much as they may not be as fussy about their surroundings as me - I helped give parts of the house a good clean!  vacuuming, washing, decluttering, rearranging --  allowing more natural light to come into the house and a better energy flow!  I would like to think that makes my mum and dad happier.

and....it makes me very happy to do something for them.  They have been extremely supportive of me - never questioning or asking me too much - fetching me home on days I had to bake late into the night, and always being there for me.

Being Asian, expressing in words is awkward and uncomfortable....so doing things for them is my way of saying 'I love you and am very grateful for you loving me as unconditionally as you do' - though you will NEVER catch me saying that.  Too corny lah. and a tad cheesy.  I rather say it through my actions.

Have you done something for your parents recently?   It can be your own special way to say 'thank you' and 'i love you' - whatever works for you.:)

CD Baby

A couple of days ago - i stumbled upon a website by David Sivers and LOVED LOVED LOVED his animation!

this is just one of the many cute ones!

[vimeo http://www.vimeo.com/25494440 w=400&h=300]

Essentially the videos on his website are extracts from his book 'Anything You Want'.  I borrowed the book from the library and it is a really quick read - you can easily complete  it in under 1.5 hours.

What amazes me is that he accidently stumbled upon a business, worked and grew it, sold it for 22 million, and gave most of the money away.  from the book, i gathered he knew himself very well - well enough to know that even more money doesn't make him happy.  Of course it is something we all need to survive - but his ability to detach from it and keep enough for himself without being too attached is amazing.  Lesson I took away is that money itself doesn't make you happier.  of course a certain level is required to ensure you have less worries - beyond that  - we all need to know how to be happy regardless.

I was out running errands today and many times I found myself uttering thanks for the many small things in my life - my wonderful cats that keep me happy, my family, the pretty red flowering tree just outside my flat, good cold blasting aircon on the bus, the fact that I am born in a wonderful country and many many others.  when you start being thankful, amazingly it becomes easier to recognize the good things in your life.

If you happen to come across this book - do pick it up and give it a read.  for me - there were many good lessons within the book - of course, everyone interprets information in their own way - but I hope you enjoy it regardless!:)

[caption id="attachment_264" align="alignnone" width="470"] hahaha...much as the boy is cute - i dont' really get the cover, but heck! it's a happy cover!:)[/caption]

 

reflections

this post is to rant - so please bear with me cos' i am hoping that after I pen my thoughts - they can 'escape' somewhere and allow me to sleep better at night.

I am a pig and can sleep within 5 mins of hitting the pillow - but the past few weeks?  tossing, turning and feeling every single breeze of the fan (not in a good way!).  getting into zzz land has been a struggle.  and when i DO sleep - have loads of dreams. some ridiculous, but i can almost never remember them - only that they are ridiculous.

Consciously i think I am handling the situation okay.  But subconsciously, i probably am still bothered - and my body is telling me by refusing to let me have a restful sleep (and boy have I learnt to try to listen to my body over the years!).



About what you might ask?   well, i decided to close my brownie business after 3 years.  i started the business first in a community shared kitchen on a part-time basis to test how receptive the market was, and in recent months - had the opportunity to have the kitchen area to myself - so i took it.

Sadly, within a short span of 10 months - i decided to close the business. I was sub renting the kitchen space from the main tenant, and several times, he told us that the future of the place was in jeopardy.  I looked for alternatives during this period, but the though of shifting all my equipment / paying at least 3 times more rent / plus losing my deposits if i shifted out early before he confirmed giving up the place...well, i made a decision to stay put - it was probably just easier.

the funniest part is that much as i WAS struggling to stay at the current place (cos' mainly it had the cheapest rental) - i decided to give it up at the very moment the rental issue was solved (a new tenant took over the place, and she is seriously one of the nicest, most generous person i know).

you must be thinking i'm bonkers.   why give up when the solution is already in place??  many reason, but also very simple. i felt so drained after the six months of uncertainty - that my reservoir of energy was depleted and I no longer had the motivation/passion/interest.  In fact, at one point i wondered if the universe was telling me to leave that place.  also practically, i knew i had to bring the business to the next level to be sustainable, and that required more time / energy / money - all of which I couldn't or don't want to give more.



Much as it was difficult and many times very trying - I love the past few years.  It pushed me to try new stuff (esp talking to strangers! yikess!!!!), learning new skill sets, getting things done, etc etc. I don't regret leaving the corporate world to try this my hand at business and it surely helped me rediscover a zest for life and / trying new things and keeping my brain engaged!   if i didn't - i think i would remain pretty much like this picture below - zombified.

[caption id="attachment_187" align="alignnone" width="429"] that's how i felt about myself in the corporate world - lifeless - absolutely no zest for life, bored and just blah. not a good feeling. the salary was good though. others might complain it's little - but i felt overpaid cos' the things i had to do were not exactly difficult and i was not learning / improving myself - skill sets wise and all. in fact i thought i regressed....maybe cos' i was miserable.[/caption]

of course there are many things that i had to give up.   one of my greatest gripe is that I can't be as generous as I was to the people i love...which just plain sucks. i guess i can show my affection through other ways oh?;)

Anyhow, when i made the decision to close the business, my greatest obstacle was how to break the news to my husband who has been very supportive and helping  me along the way - i felt i let him down.  also, how do i tell my nice landlady?  my parents - i knew would be cool with whatever decision i make - but i do want them to be proud and not worry about me.

But after I shared the decision with my husband - a huge sigh of relief and I could  finally get down to wrapping things up.   Strangely i don't feel any sense of loss - more of a relief!

There are still things to tie up and settle and before it's done - I still worry.  though after it's done, I probably will find something else to worry - seriously bad habit which i am trying to cure.  do you have any tips?